johndonna.com

Since I started this blog, I’ve been looking at others.  People who have been doing this for years are amazing. One personal favorite is Steve Pavlina - www.stevepavlina.com.  I am making a commitment for the next 2 weeks, through February 6th to write a post every day, however small. I may not be able to post every day, especially over the weekend, but I’ll write one. Starting today.

In a few days, it will be three months since I completed Discovery training. It is very hard to describe what Discovery is to someone who hasn’t been through the program. None of the descriptions or analogies that come to mind do it justice. I also don’t want to give anything away. Like with a good movie, I don’t want to give away the plot and make another person’s surprise and experience less than it could have been if I’d kept my mouth shut. So I’m going to focus on my internal experiences as a result of Discovery. Your mileage will definitely vary.

Discovery 1: The things you think should be obvious to everybody are not, and the things you think you have hidden from everybody’s view are there for everybody to see. You can ignore one or two people who are close to you, but you can’t ignore 50+ strangers who are telling you the same thing. Fearful, resentful, rejected are not words that I’d have used to describe myself six months ago; neither are the words fearless, happy and loved. So many experiences and feelings that came out of my life as a child can now be looked at clearly and evaluated as an adult.  It’s like I had drowned in my past, and Discovery pulled me up on a rock, where I can both see my past and put it behind me.

Discovery 2:  Hiding is futile. Things are what they are and you are who you are. If things aren’t what you want them to be, you need to change them or accept them. If you’re not who you want to be, you either need to change or admit to being yourself. If you’re planning or thinking or hoping that things will change in the future, you’re wrong. Things only change if you change them. Now, not tomorrow.

Corollary to Discovery 2: That which is not handled in the present becomes baggage in our past that robs us of our future.

Discovery 3: Our future is our heading. While we may think we have a clear idea of our destination, it only becomes truly clear to us as we get closer. Part of it is that our destination changes and part of that is that we change.

What I came to realize, and am still in the process of realizing, is what I was born believing: that there is nothing more important to a human being than their relationship with God. and that anything that weakens or impoverishes that relationship is a great tribulation, and that that tribulation is often caused by people’s ideas about religion.

This weblog and my website, www.johndonna.com, are here because of Discovery, because of what I learned in Discovery, and because of all the wonderful people who shared themselves and their attention and love with me. But it’s not just the website, which is an external sign of even greater changes within, it’s how I approach life everyday and the new possibilities I see in life. Yes.  I have to say like others who have gone through Discovery, that I wish I’d gone through it earlier.  It would have made a world of difference 30 years ago.  But it’s making a world of difference now too.

So even though I didn’t set out to try and praise the Discovery training program, or try and convince you to at least think about going (if you haven’t already been), that’s where I’m winding up. Take a look at www.discovery-training.com and see if this might be for you.  And if you have been to Discovery training, add your comments on the program, good or bad. I’m sure some other folks would be interested.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

This is the Monday of Thanksgiving week, 2006.  I visited my mom and Jim, my brother, in Houston over the weekend. I showed Jim my website and eStarNetwork, (www.johndonna.estarnetwork.com) and he signed up, which surprised me.  I was just showing him what I had done and it hadn’t occurred to me that he’d be interested in becoming involved himself.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, so much so that I wonder whether it’s coming from my heart or just my head. There’s such pressure in our world to conform, to be controlled. It doesn’t necessarily make sense.  Credit card companies, for instance, intentionally place you in a victim role if, for any reason, you fall behind in payments.  Never mind that they make a great deal of money on late fees and the other “penalties” they put into place. Someone who runs consistently late, in fact, is one their best customers in terms of income received for dollar loaned. But you wouldn’t know that from the way they are treated.

This is an extremely short sighted view, however. Victims don’t stay victims forever, and when they stop being victims, there tend to be fireworks. The credit card companies with a usurious approach to their business will either kill the goose that lays the golden egg, or they will spawn predators who will have no sympathy on those who had no sympathy for them.

I will never forget the runin I had with AT&T Wireless several years ago, when they were still in business. I switched my AT&T service to another cell service after having been assured by an AT&T representative over the phone that I could do that without a penalty. Then, when I got my bill from AT&T, it was nearly $2,000 including the penalties for cancelling the contract on my three phones early. I’d already made a commitment to the new cell service, so I was stuck. I called, complained, wrote, withheld payment and finally talked to a “customer service” representative who admitted that she did not work for AT&T and her supervisor that proceeded to inform me that we “all work for AT&T,” but didn’t know the name of any AT&T Wireless officer–who, by the way, I couldn’t seem to reach through any means.  I never actually got to talk to a bonafide employee of the company.

As a computer consultant, I’m often asked for advice on technology services, such as cell phones. I began keeping track of the number of people I consulted with on cell phone and cell internet connection service alternatives, and the value of their business. After several years, I could account for $20,000 a month or more worth of clients that did not choose AT&T–in fact noone I talked to about this wound up choosing AT&T and over half chose the company I said I had used to replace AT&T and had had no problems with.

And the saga continues. Two weeks after the name on my phone bill went from SBC to AT&T, I cancelled my AT&T service.  I will make every effort not to deal with them and, in fact, now I offer competitive products as an eStarNetwork representative. Think about it.  You’ve had problems with AT&T billing haven’t you?  Most of the people I talk to have had problems with them.  SBC was not perfect, but they were human, and you could talk to them.

AT&T has called me several times to get my business back. They start to tell me how much I could save, and I just tell them I don’t want to deal with AT&T as a company. Not one of the 12 or 13 calls I’ve gotten has ever asked what the problem was.  Not one has had an AT&T representative call me back. There must be other people out there like me–actually I know there are because I’ve met some of them. Our disgruntlement has a cumulative poisonous effect, and no amount of advertising or publicity spin will change that.

How much would it have cost them to avoid losing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of revenue? A respectful phone call, a recognition that their phone representative may have made a mistake and an offer to discount the amount assessed me for cancelling the contract. Maybe $200 or $300 to save $100,000.

AT&T is always in my mind when I deal with my clients.  I will treat them fairly, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and trying to find some common ground when we don’t agree.

I have to believe that eventually the AT&T’s, Walmarts and credit companies of the world will either change for the better, or run out of steam. Business requires trust and looking out for each other’s mutual self interest. Big businesses are so big, they don’t know how much money they are losing.  Then they cry about the market not being there, or the downturns in the economy, or having to compete with lower price stores.

But they forget that it is people who buy their products and services. They view people as sheep who can be led to open their wallets by fancy ad campaigns, smooth talking and short-term gouging. People learn and they adapt. It takes them a little while, but eventually they learn. I don’t know about you, but I try to buy from people I know and trust.  I’m very selective about what I buy on credit, and I’m getting more selective every day.

Ultimately, things are going to change. I believe that, though I don’t know how. Part of it will come about by people talking to each other, corresponding.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

 

I began setting up this website 10/25/2006.  It’s a “stretch” for me, something that takes me out of my comfort zone.

“If not now, then when?” from a Tracy Chapman song is a new motto for me.  I have waited for years to do things that I’ve never gotten around to.  Discovery training gave me the energy to do things that I’ve been waiting to get around to.

I have 55 or so wonderful Discovery friends who I hope to hear from here, at some point.  If you’d like to know more about Discovery, take a look at their website, http://www.discovery-training.com/.